I just have to say, it's starting to piss me off.
What is?
How it's the same every time.
Hello, two people, wow,
clearly they should be together,
but you're gonna have to sit there
watching them for two hours while they figure that out.
The end. Nothing happens
except the one thing we knew was gonna happen.
Because it's a romantic comedy, not "Anna Karenina".
Great, mom, now you've ruined "Anna Karenina".
Carter, there's cookie dough,
fruity pebbles, ooh, crushed Oreos.
I can't believe I'm begging my child
to eat crushed Oreos for dinner--
I am the worst mother.
Mom, you know how I feel about Gummi Bears.
I do, which is why if I always said if we ever get separated,
I'll meet you by the nearest tub of Gummi Bears.
Sadly, that is my idea of a safety tip.
(Chuckling)
(Beeping)
Oh, it's Max.
I thought you two broke up.
Yeah, we did, he's just... Too lazy to find someone else.
So what is this, a booty call... hmm?
Mom. Yeah?
No, he's just letting me know everyone's hanging out.
And please never use the phrase "booty call" with me ever again.
Go, be with your friends.
No, this is our night.
Oh, we saw a movie, we had dinner, I'm good.
You sure? Yeah.
You can see me any time.
Okay.
Oh, wait, here, take this.
Mom, I'm fine.
You might get cold.
Please, let me just do one mom thing.
Fine.
I love you. Love you more.
Not possible.
Yes, possible.
Bye.
(Laughing and chatter)
Carter, where'd you learn to do that?
Carter, what would we do without you?
(Lock clunks)
And I want the fast one.
♪ Oh, oh, oh
Whoo!
Dude, they're not moving.
Oh, ye of little faith.
♪ Oh, oh, oh
(W hooping)
Hey, who left a backpack?
♪ We are the hope, we are the love ♪
♪ we are the heart and lungs ♪
♪ but we think we've got it all ♪
♪ and no one's gonna take our fun ♪
♪ not gonna work, not gonna hurt ♪
♪ invincible and dumb
♪ I've played the part, and now I'm done ♪
You know, I get it.
We're broken up, but we're still friends.
Yeah, always.
So all I'm saying...
Is... let's add the benefits.
(Chuckling)
That's basically all we ever were.
Carter, you're overthinking this.
♪ Wherever we go in time we will fall into ♪
♪ a life of the unknown
(alarm sounding)
That's it, ride's over, you're coming with us.
You heard him, let's go.
Oh, come on, we're just kids having some... harmless fun.
♪ I had the feeling when the summer was rotten ♪
♪ I had the feeling that I must've been forgotten ♪
♪ 'cause I just don't quite... ♪
Look, don't worry, they're not gonna charge us.
They'll just...
They'll just let us off with a warning.
(Girl) How do you know that?
(Boy) Hope you're right.
(Boy) We'll never get out of here.
(Cell door thudding)
Next time this happens, you'll be talking to a judge.
See, what did I tell you.
Tonight, you just have to face your parents.
I'd prefer a judge.
Is that still an option?
Move it.
(Kids chuckling)
Not you.
Yours isn't here yet.
You called her, right?
(Cell door thudding)
Carter Stevens?
And I was just getting comfortable.
♪
It's okay, I'm not hungry.
Um, I just wanna go home.
I'm sorry, Carter, it's not that simple.
Look, where's my mom, can we just get her in here?
Okay, right now, we're doing all we can to locate her.
What do you mean, is she okay?
Carter, I need you to listen to me.
My name is Susan sherman,
I work with the children's protective services.
Hey, can you just skip to the part where my mom is missing?
Your mother, she goes by the name of Lori Stevens?
What does that mean, "goes by"?
That's not her real name.
Carter Stevens is not your real name.
Well, it's my name,
and it's real,
so...
When you were three years old,
you were abducted from the front lawn of your home
in great falls, Virginia.
The woman you think is your mother
is not your mother.
She's your kidnapper.
That's crazy.
No, stop talking, stop talking!
Please, please, please... Carter, Carter.
I just wanna go home, okay?
Okay. I just wanna go see my mom.
All right, Carter, and you will.
But it's gonna be to a different home.
And a different mother.
♪ There you go
♪ there you stay
♪ keeping low
♪ never wanna play
♪ you've been up and down, down ♪
♪ you've been low, low, low ♪
♪ pretending to not feel alone ♪
Does the name linden mean anything to you,
linden Wilson?
No.
That's your real name, linden Wilson.
Look, I know the FBI is--
is really good at being the FBI but...
I really think there's been some kind of...
Computer glitch or--
or something got filed wrong.
This is your mug shot from last night.
Okay.
And this is you a month before you were abducted.
I've never seen that picture before.
Okay, that might not even be me.
It's you, the ears are the same.
It's an ear, it looks like every other ear.
Actually, ears are as distinct and unique as dental records,
which we also have.
And fingerprints.
These were taken last night.
And these were lifted from your toys
after you disappeared 13 years ago.
My mom would never do this.
People abduct children for all kinds of reasons.
Stop talking about her.
She's an amazing person.
And even if what you're saying is true,
I wouldn't care, I would...
(Sniffling) I would still wanna live with her.
You understand that can't happen.
Your real parents are here.
And they're very anxious to see you.
Now?
(Knocking on door)
No, I'm not ready.
Linden.
You're so beautiful.
Do you remember me at all?
No, I'm sorry.
Lizzie...
She needs time.
We all do.
I'm your dad.
Yeah, I figured.
Do-- do you remember your twin sister,
do you remember Taylor?
I have a sister?
(Sniffling)
I didn't think I had any other family.
Is that what she told you, the monster that stole you
from us? She wasn't a monster.
She took you.
She brainwashed you
when you were only three years old.
Do we know who she was?
Does she look familiar?
She goes by the name Lori Stevens.
Can you please stop saying "goes by"?
Oh, my God, David.
Oh, my God.
We know her.
(Silent)
That's impossible, she must be in the system.
When her one and only crime was stealing my child,
I don't think so.
Sounds like a cop.
She is a cop-- sorry, detective.
And make sure everyone has her pictures.
Tsa, train, bus, car rental agents.
And put out there's a reward.
$10,000.
Who's paying that reward, are we paying that reward?
I want this woman caught, isn't that what you want?
You know I do.
And you don't care what I want?
Of course.
Okay, let me call you back.
So-- my mom.
She was your friend?
More like acquaintances.
She did in-home hospice care.
One of them lived on our street.
She told us her name was Janet.
Why can't I remember her last name?
She said we were such a beautiful family.
I thought she was being sweet.
You know what else she said?
"It's a shame you can't spend more time with your girls."
She was monitoring my work hours.
You didn't spend time with us?
Linden, your mom had to work.
She was helping to support the family.
No, but you're right.
I'm gonna do it all differently this time, linden.
Well, you could start by calling me Carter.
I don't know if I can do that.
You have to understand, that name...
Reminds us of the worst part of our lives.
Can you understand, I just had my entire life
ripped from under me.
And my name is all I have left.
If that's what you want.
We'll call you Carter.
Thanks, you're a peach.
Oh, no.
What's going on?
(Chatter)
No-- you let this go out on the police scanner?
No, because I didn't want this to happen.
(Loud chatter)
Guys, please, step aside, let 'em out.
Step aside, step aside, ma'am, ma'am, step aside.
Toby, you did this?
Don't worry, this is all under control.
Get out of the way.
Give us some room.
Get back. Linden, linden!
Oh, my God, it is such an honor to meet you.
Namaste.
Hi, I'm your dad's literary agent, I'm Toby de moray.
Not now, Toby.
(Overlapping chatter)
(Man) Give us some space, please.
Okay, how about a quick photo op?
(Toby) See you later.
Linden.
Buddy, Joan, please, back off,
she's not ready.
The hell with that.
Papa.
Welcome home, baby girl.
Come here, please!
Oh, you remember your grandma Joan, huh?
Oh, well, you will as soon as you taste
a bowl of my Mac and cheese.
[Phone rings] I make it extra gooey
just like you always liked it.
Elizabeth, would you put that phone down?
She's trying to catch the kidnapper.
All right, all right.
Hi.
Uh, so Taylor and...
Do I have a brother?
Oh, they didn't mention me.
I couldn't be less shocked.
Grant, this has been an emotionally chaotic day.
Could you keep the sarcasm to a minimum?
So obviously, you were born after--
yes, I'm the replacement child.
Grant.
You said to a minimum.
I think that entitles me to one line.
Do you remember?
Not really.
We used to call you little linden and tiny Taylor.
What are we gonna call you now?
Carter. What?
I would like to be called Carter.
Oh, I don't think so-- mom, it's decided.
I have an opinion... All right.
Back door was open.
I need you, two seconds, two seconds?
I promise.
So he writes books.
(Joan) He's only had one published.
Well, but Joan, it was a bestseller.
Does she know what it's about?
Uh, no?
It's about you.
What about me?
It's called "losing linden."
Well, I guess I should read it.
Right after I finish "Anna Karenina."
Are you reading "Anna Karenina"?
No.
David, what a godsend.
I never thought this day would come.
Me neither. You should hear who's on my voicemail--
publishers, producers, Brad pitt's development person.
My daughter is alive.
She's home.
That's the day I was referring to.
Obviously-- obviously.
But you are looking at a potential huge payday.
And that could resolve your current financial crisis.
Do we have to discuss this now?
We haven't even been home for ten minutes.
It's my job to be insensitive.
You have a $500,000
book advance that has to be repaid.
There's always foreclosure.
I mean, you could tell Elizabeth, which--
I still haven't. Oh, you don't have to now
because your solution just walked through that door.
That's your sequel, "finding linden."
Carter... Huh?
That's her name now.
It can't be linden?
Oh, God, it was so simple.
Okay, on the other hand, I like the twist.
You lose a child, but you find a stranger.
"Finding Carter," that works, okay, start taking notes.
♪
(Silent)
(Knocking on door)
Linden-- Carter, can I come in?
Yeah. Just a sec.
Okay, come in.
Hey.
Believe it or not, I gave this a lot of thought.
Your grandmother's out there making waffles and omelets.
But I didn't even know what you liked,
and I, I don't know if you eat breakfast.
You don't seem like the... Breakfast-in-bed type.
I didn't wanna subject you to another family onslaught.
Those are tough for me, and I know these people.
(Chuckles) That's fine, thank you.
Great. Okay.
I was thinking that maybe you and Taylor could take the car,
and she could show you around town
and maybe introduce you to some of her friends?
Or, uh, I could just go see
the ones I already have?
Back where you-- yeah.
Back where I know people.
What is that, a two-hour drive?
Sure, I can drive you.
I'm 16, I don't need my mommy to take me on play dates.
You don't expect me to just give you my car.
That is exactly what you just offered a minute ago.
No, I said you and Taylor.
In other words, someone has to be in the car with me.
Listen...
I'm willing to do whatever it takes
to make this relationship work.
But I need to know that you want it, too.
It would help a lot if I believed you trusted me.
(Tires screeching)
That was a joke!
Good one.
I'm actually a very safe driver.
We're not worried.
Well, this is unexpected.
Would you let the daughter we do know
go on a road trip with your car?
No.
Hey, Kyle, she just left.
The tracker's on.
She should pass Denny's in about two minutes.
Are you having her followed?
Well, like you said, we don't know her.
Well, I do know this.
She probably would not want us spying on her.
The owners closed it for the rest of the season?
Not because of us. No.
No, some four-year-old
found a little joint on one of the bench thingies.
So because of us. Well...
♪ Brothers got room to talk ♪
...yeah.
♪ Messing round on the block ♪
Amelia's not even answering my texts.
Guys had to work today.
Really?
No.
I don't get it, I thought they'd wanna see me.
Carter, you gotta understand.
People are a little freaked out.
(Snickering)
Let me tell you about freaked out.
So not only is my mom not my mom.
My name's not even my name and apparently...
Apparently, my friends are not really my friends.
For what it's worth, you got me.
Thank you.
And I...
Got this.
Oh, thank God.
Yeah, I can see her.
No, they're not doing anything, just sitting on a bench.
So your people,
these people, your family?
You like 'em?
I don't know, it's weird.
They're total strangers, right?
But... oh,
when the grandfather hugged me,
it was like this spot in my brain just went halogen.
That's-- that's like a "bourne identity"...
That's a thing.
You might be an assassin.
Max, I was abducted when I was three.
So you're probably not an assassin.
No.
And I have a sister.
A twin sister who... I don't remember at all.
But who I feel like I know really well.
I don't know, yeah, I guess I could
get to like them eventually.
Oh, except mom, I hate the mom,
she is the human equivalent of nails on a chalkboard.
This isn't good-bye.
No... never.
That's mondo creepy.
What?
Some guy over there...
Is watching us in his side view mirror.
Hey.
Hey! Hey!
I can see you!
(Car starting)
G-j-5-9-3-5.
My mom's a cop, we'll find you!
Your mom's a cop?
You probably shouldn't have had that weed.
No, it's okay.
My other mom's a felon.
She's the one I take after.
(Water running)
Well, it's official.
You're the good daughter.
You hungry? Mom made a plate.
A cop who cooks.
She really can do it all, huh?
Actually, I made that.
I do most of the cooking around here.
Every so often, grant makes a soup.
What, we don't eat those?
One had a dollar bill floating in it, so, no.
This is fantastic. Thanks.
I actually, um, I like to bake.
Yeah?
I'm a big fan of dessert.
Some nights it's all I eat.
I say I'm going to dinner,
and I meet my friend Gabe at this yogurt place.
Self-serve, all different kinds of toppings.
Uh-huh. Oh, my God, can we go?
As soon as you're done. I'm done.
I'll just tell my mom,
uh, our mom... mom.
It's fine, you can have her.
Hey. You're back.
According to the FBI, this is where I live now.
Was it fun to see your friends?
Yeah, loads of fun.
Even made a new one.
Guy in a silver Subaru
who sat in his car all day watching me.
Oh, my God.
I hope you got his license.
As a matter of fact,
I did.
You can find him, right?
Or, uh...
Maybe you already know who he is.
How would I possibly?
Well, you were nervous.
I took your car.
Maybe you had me followed?
No, she-- she would never.
Would you? Of course not.
You said that you needed me to trust you and I did-- I do.
Okay, well, uh...
Let me know if you find anything.
Absolutely, I'll look into this.
Carter wants yogurt.
Great. Go, have fun.
(Door opening)
I know.
(Door closing)
Hey, yo, try some fro-yo.
Do you know what you want?
Um, yeah, yeah, I do.
I'll meet you inside. Okay.
Excuse me, hi.
Um...
Who do I talk to about getting a job here?
That'd be me.
Listen, zubin.
You want me to work here.
Trust me, it is the opportunity of a lifetime.
Really? Um-hmm.
What's so great about you?
I want it to be a surprise when I show up for work tomorrow.
2:00 sound good?
I guess?
I'll, uh, I'll see you then, zubin.
This is my friend Gabe.
This is Carter, my long lost sister.
Hi.
So welcome home, I guess.
Yeah, thanks.
It's been kind of an abrupt transition.
She didn't know until yesterday that she'd been kidnapped,
and she doesn't remember any of us.
Holy crap, you must be
majorly freaked out.
Yeah, to be honest, I'm trying not to think about
how freaked out I am.
Hey, there's a party.
Would it help to go to a party?
Yeah.
Party pretty much solves anything.
At least for a couple hours, right?
I don't know, I've... Never been to one.
You've never been to a party?
Not that didn't have a goody bag.
(Laughing)
Wow, so glad I did not grow up here.
Let's go.
♪
(Camera clicking)
Drink, drink, drink...
♪ First things first, I'm the realest, realest ♪
♪ drop this and let the whole world feel it ♪
♪ let 'em feel it
whoo!
It's not that hard, it's not that hard.
The secret is...
Don't hesitate.
(All cheering)
How did you do that?
Well, as a wise man once said,
science, yo.
(Laughing)
Cheers.
(Whooping)
What are you drinking?
I don't know, something lethal.
Can I try it?
♪ Can't you taste this gold
♪ remember my name 'bout to blow ♪
Hmm, I can't taste the alcohol.
That's what makes it lethal.
(Carter) Okay, who's next?
(Loud chatter)
This is fun.
What is?
Me watching you stare at my sister.
Sorry, was I?
You can't blame me for being intrigued.
Being abducted has its rewards.
She tell you what it was like?
She lived in a two-bedroom apartment in York, Pennsylvania.
She wasn't sold into child slavery.
Well, you're happy she's back, right?
Yeah, of course I'm happy.
I don't know how happy she is, though.
She looks pretty happy.
Gabe, as you can probably tell--
because you can't keep your eyes off her--
my sister was having a totally fun
and awesome life where she got to drink
and smoke and probably be a complete slut.
While I've never done anything
remotely fun or awesome
because I lived in a constant fear
of the terrible thing that happened to my sister.
Except it didn't.
Whoa, slow down.
Taylor.
(Partygoers whooping)
What are you doing?
I'm making up for lost time.
(Chuckles)
I don't believe you. It's true.
"Mean girls" is not your favorite movie.
♪ All you...
♪ Sucka mc's ain't got nothin' on me ♪ oh, my God.
♪ From my grades to my lines, you can't touch Kevin g ♪
♪ I'm a mathlete, so nerd is inferred ♪
♪ but forget what you heard, I'm like James Bond the third ♪
(Laughing) Jesus.
Okay, but that's a secret.
I use "bad grandpa" as my cover.
Oh, really?
Okay, I won't tell anyone.
You're very cool.
Thanks.
So are you.
Sorry it's been so rough for you.
Oh.
At least you made one new friend.
Yeah.
You know what?
You're actually my first one here.
Wasn't so bad, was it?
No, not at all.
Gabe... Sorry.
No, uh--
too fast, don't-- we can take this a lot slower.
No.
We can't take it at all.
I'm sorry, I just--
I can't do that to Taylor.
Do what to Taylor?
Come on, I know you're not dumb.
Let's pretend I am.
Taylor likes you.
Yeah, we're friends
since, like, the second grade.
She's like my sister.
(Knocking)
Oh, what the hell?
This isn't a coal mine, could you turn that off?
Gabe, is that you? Hi, Mrs. Wilson.
Mr. Wilson.
Do you have any idea what time it is?
Where's Taylor?
Chill, she's there.
David, oh, my God.
(Gabe) It's okay, she's just drunk.
(Carter) And she may have had a pot brownie or two.
(David) Oh, tay-tay, sweetie,
let me get you inside, come on.
Oh, can you stand up?
I'll get her inside.
Night, Gabe.
Good-bye, Mr. Wilson, Mrs. Wilson.
(Car door closing)
Listen, thanks for tonight.
I had fun.
Me too.
And I'd like to do it again.
We'll see.
Is she still standing there?
Yup.
Ugh. (Car starting)
Obviously, I'm happy for you two to get along.
But I'd prefer if you didn't pass on
your bad habits to Taylor.
My bad habits?
So there are already things about me that you don't like?
What are they?
What I meant to say was that--
just name one or, I don't know,
you could name something about me that you do like.
Name anything that you know about me at all.
I am trying to get to know you,
but you're doing everything you can to avoid me!
That's because you're stiff,
you're humorless, you're a control freak.
You operate from this place of fear.
You know...
My mom used to tell me every day that she loved me.
And I haven't heard you say it once.
Not to any member of your family.
(Door opening/closing)
(Exhaling)
Please tell me you didn't hear that.
I hear everything.
That's one advantage to people not remembering you exist.
So I'm not wrong?
That woman has the personality of a refrigerator.
She's not the hallmark commercial, for sure,
but it's because of us.
What did we do?
Nothing on purpose. You were kidnapped,
I was born ten weeks premature.
What?
Yeah. I was, like, this big.
Doctor said ten-to-one I wouldn't make it.
Mom-- Elizabeth, please,
I am... not on board with "mom."
She kind of cracked.
All she wanted was to hold a baby,
but instead it looked like she was about to have
another dead kid on her hands--
which, sorry, everyone thought you were.
Yeah, that-- that would be rough.
But I think it'll help
having you back...
Maybe.
I would not hold my breath.
I know.
Although, I can hold my breath for a really long time.
Almost five minutes.
You need to get out more.
Hmm, yeah, no kidding.
(Both chuckling)
♪ If you love somebody
she works here, that's her, right there.
(Loud chatter)
(Girl) I love you.
Whoo.
Excuse me, hey, we're family, excuse me.
Who's next? (Girl) Oh, me.
Duck lips?
She's so cool, don't you think?
Yes, she is.
So, feel free to put me on instagram, tweet about me,
Facebook, if anyone still looks at that.
What about me, can I get a picture with you?
Hell, yeah.
♪ 'Cause I'm on top of the world, hey ♪
Hey, you can make that the cover of your next book.
I thought you didn't want me to write about you.
I don't.
The "j/k" was silent.
Next time it won't be.
Give me a chance.
I'm slow, but eventually I do catch on.
Don't forget to say where she works.
That's right, I want people to know exactly where to find me.
Oh, crap, I know what she's doing.
What's she doing?
She's sending a message to her mom.
The other one, the kidnapper?
She's telling her to meet her here.
I'm calling your mom.
We need to pay more attention to you.
Yeah, that'd be nice.
(Cell phone ringing)
Hey.
You're mad at me.
Of course not.
I screwed up, she saw me, your daughter.
She saw you and your license plate.
She was in the middle of a park.
I knew if I got out, she'd see me so I just--
hey, it's not you fault.
This is a bad idea to begin with,
and... so is this.
This?
This is way past an idea.
I love you.
You're leaving your husband.
I was.
I can't now.
Okay.
I understand.
It's okay.
Hey... I'll wait.
No, you don't understand.
Carter is back,
I have my family again.
I can't give that up now.
I'm sorry.
Whoa, look at you.
Yeah, that works.
Thanks.
Glad to see you recovered from the other night.
Yeah, boy, drinking?
Not as easy as it looks.
I feel bad I've never taken you to a party before, I just--
figured it wasn't your kind of thing.
Me too, but it is.
Can we go to more?
Absolutely.
Carter too, right?
Of course.
But we're not like the Olsen twins,
I mean, we have our own lives.
I just...
Would like to get to know her better.
Yeah.
Sure. Um...
You wanna go out with her?
If you're okay with that.
Why-- why wouldn't I be, we're just friends.
Right, that's what I said.
Wait-- you said that to who?
Carter.
She thinks you like me.
I told her you're like my sister.
Oh, but you didn't say it like that.
Please, tell me you didn't use those words.
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Just not really in the mood for yogurt.
Oh, hey, come on.
No, don't worry, I'm fine,
don't worry.
What was that?
She said she didn't like me.
I wonder why.
(Man) Break's over, back to your post.
Come on, you can't both be mad at me.
Hi.
That is a very styling cup of yogurt.
What did you do there, layers?
Yeah. I'm gonna have to try that myself.
Thanks, bye.
Who's next?
Here we go, someone after my own--
heart.
Carter?
I'm sorry, miss, I'll ring you up.
No, um... no, it's okay, I got it.
Um, that'll be 4.80.
Not possible.
Yes, possible.
(Siren blaring) Mom--
I'm sorry.
Um...
Back here.
Put this on.
Carter, I'm sorry. All right, look--
take these free samples and--
and just walk out the front door.
Carter... Carter--
they'll be watching the back.
There are things you don't know.
Things you should know.
Mom, you have to go.
Mom, go.
Go. I'll be back.
(Police radio chatter)
Go, go, go, go.
Start over there-- let's move it.
Where is she?
Where is who?
Carter, this place is surrounded with police.
I promise you, Lori Stevens is not going to get away.
You need this many people to catch her?
She's not exactly Lara croft.
The woman can barely throw a frisbee.
But it was fun to watch her try.
Dad, what's going on?
The less you know, okay.
Hey.
That's the guy, the one who was watching me.
Come on, let's go. Who, my dad?
That's your dad?
You did have me followed.
Carter-- you lied to me.
You looked into my eyes and lied to my face.
I did.
I'm sorry, I was wrong.
No, you know what?
You were right, Lori Stevens was here.
She risked her life
just so she could see me for five seconds.
Just to tell me she loved me.
Because she's my mother.
And you've taken me away from her.
You want to find my abductor?
It's you.
♪ I'm a different animal, animal ♪
♪ you can't hold me back, back ♪
Why have you got a photo of my mom in your briefcase?
I'm ofe, by the way.
Gabe, I can't even say your name
without Taylor going, ugh, and walking out the room.
The FBI's got everything but a camera up my ass.
Screw the FBI.
We get your mom,
I mean us pretending to be your mom, to text you.
Looks like Lori's been in touch with Carter.
Keep an eye on your daughter.